Allergy Season

The brick workout wore me out some, but not too bad. I got a swim in Monday, and did an "easy" run that evening. It was a 10 min/mi pace, which felt a bit rougher than it should have normally, but I think I was just tired. Tuesday I spinned in the morning. It was a hill interval class and I actually kept it kinda easy. My heart rate didn't get above 160. Tuesday evening J ditched yoga for a spinning class because she didn't go in the morning. That was pretty disappointing to me, but I decided I'd not go and give my shoulders a break before Wednesday's planned 1 mile swim. When I woke up today (Wednesday), my shoulders hurt pretty bad. I didn't go in the morning and opted for an early afternoon swim instead. I warmed up about 200 yards and then did 35 laps (down and back, 50 yds=1 lap). My my it was rough. I had a bad asthma thing going on, and my arms just hurt. I tried to keep my form, but I was terribly slow. I wanted to stop somewhere in the 20s, but I kept going and did the entire mile. 

When I left, I noticed how bad my asthma was. I sneezed a few times and that didn't help anything. There was a ton of congestion in my chest. By the time I got home, my breathing was shallow and I felt terrible. I took two puffs on my inhaler and relaxed. I still feel icky, and my chest feels tight, but I blew my normal suckiness on my peak flow meter. 

I have an allergist appt tomorrow and I'm glad. I guess I need to be on some more medicine. I'm really frustrated with the breathing issues and how my inhaler makes things worse when I exercise. I hope to get some help in place before next Sunday. 

Holy crap the tri is NEXT SUNDAY!

Brick Workout

The mile in the water really wore me out! I was sore for a couple days. As I mentioned, Thursday's run was kinda slow and painful. I took Friday off because I felt I needed it. Saturday morning I hit the pool (and was the only swimmer there) and did 1100 yards, with poor breathing. Today I decided I'd do a brick since I wasn't doing a long weekend ride. 

I set the trainer up and had a fan pointing on me. It was cool, but I knew I'd be dripping eventually. My plan was to ride for 20 minutes at a steady pace, then practice quickly tying my shoes and running for a mile. I set up Casey's spin mix #2 and started getting busy. I held a 17-18 mph and was beginning to warm up...

Then I hopped off my bike and changed my shoes. I undid the trainer wheel, hit pause on my playlist and ran out the fence gate to begin the mile. It was sunny and I forgot my sunglasses. The run felt ok...but I didn't feel I was warmed up. Mile 1 was 9:15. I didn't know what to expect for my times since I was biking too. 

The second bike session was ok. I was uncomfortable in my seat and my wrists hurt, but soon it was time to run again. I fumbled around with my shoes this time, putting one on, dropping the other, not taking my cycling shoe off very well... Just wasn't thinking. The run was pretty good though! 8:54. I felt like that was it for my legs though. 

The last bike was kind of rough. I felt like I had so much lactic acid built up in my legs. I tried to push but it was kind if hard to maintain 16-17 mph at the resistance I had set. 

I didn't have much hope for the run. And finally my legs had that familiar filled with concrete who's legs are these feeling. At least I could practice pushing and pacing with them in this state. However, I wasn't moving all that slow. The last mile was 9:03 and I was pretty happy. It was hard to move my heavy heavy legs, but I just kept pushing, knowing this is my last big workout before the race. 

Again the results:

19 min bike

9:15 min mi

20 min bike

8:54 min mi

21 min bike

9:04 min mi

I'm pretty happy with this!!

1 mile in the water!

This week the pool is closed due to maintenance. They drain it and clean it and I hope paint the air tubes above because they look pretty nasty. The competition pool is open however. I didn't swim Monday because I was in the water Sunday practicing my open water swim. I figured I'd swim Wed and Fri in this cold cold competition pool.

I was nervous about negotiating that side - it's where the swim team is and I didn't want to interfere. I went Wednesday after lunch (right after lunch to be specific...after a "your last day as a contractor" Mexican lunch). There was only one other person there, so turned out to be a good time.

The water was certainly chilly. But after a lap down and back, it felt fine. The competition pool has a movable floor. I thought it was the entire floor, but it's just half. The rest is the deep end. So it was the coolest thing to start swimming, looking down at the bottom, and then see the floor slowly moving away from me as I progressed into the deep water. I am not sure why this was so awesome, but it was.

I warmed up some. Some freestyle, some pull buoys. Then I was going to swim my half mile, like last week. About 3/4 of the way through it, I was having such a good time I thought "why don't I just keep swimming?" I thought about how hard the open water was and had already made my decision to increase my pool distances. And last time I had taken a short break then went another 1/4 mile. Maybe I could swim a full mile straight?

And that I did. It was pretty easy, and by the end, my breathing was even fine. I was going slow of course. I did it in 44:35. And I think I was swimming meters in this pool rather than yards. I'm slow and steady. I don't push off the wall either.

That evening, I rode my bike from the house around the neighborhood. I went 14 miles and kept it easy. Later I was exhausted!

Thursday my legs were sore and my arms...oh my goodness was I sore. I decided I'd run, but keep it easy. It was ridiculously slow. A 10:50 pace overall. But at least it felt easy, aside from my legs feeling like bricks.

Today I'm toying with swimming easy. But I don't want to thrash my legs more for the group ride Saturday morning. Casey probably isn't going to make it, and last time he had to pull me along in the beginning. I'm nervous I'll be dropped. So maybe I won't go if he can't go, and I'll do a brick instead. Still haven't done those yet...

Mile repeats

So I've been doing 1 mile repeats lately for my running. One night I was setting out to run, and just didn't feel like slogging along. So I thought I'd switch it up and just run hard. I ran around 9:15. Then I did the next around 9:02 (after a short break) and the last around 8:55. 

I think it's a good workout. It makes me push comfortably hard, but isn't a straight up speed workout, so my legs aren't toast afterwords. 

Tonight, I was going to warm up for one and then do 3 hard. My asthma kicked in immediately. Actually, I'm guessing I was already having problems before I started and just didn't notice. It felt like I was breathing through mesh, and my chest was super tight. But I still managed a nice warmup mile of 9:40. I did my inhaler and hoped for the best. The next mile was 8:44. The third mile was 8:39. :) It was a struggle, but I did it. Then I finished with a cool down mile, because my lungs just weren't going to cooperate anymore. It was 9:49 and felt really easy :)

Now I'm pretty pooped. But still. 40 miles on the bike Saturday, open water swim Sunday, and 4 1-mile repeats tonight? I'm feeling pretty awesome. 

In other news I have a huge knot in the middle if my back that I can feel when I lean on things. Plus it just hurts. Foam rolling errrrrrvrything tonight. 

First Open Water Swim

Today I went to Stonelick State Park to try open water swimming. I've never swam in a lake before. Swimming from a  boat out to water skis with a life jacket on does not count. 

I was super nervous about it, and really, didn't even want to do it. I kind of just wanted to ignore the issue and just face it on race day, though I knew that would be terribly stupid. So I made Greg go and be my "lifeguard". What I really wanted was a bunch of people out there in the water. 

After looking at the signs on the beach area to make sure there wasn't a known algae bloom or e.coli, we walked down to the water. The whole area looks run down and pretty dumpy, which didn't help my nerves. There was one other person sun bathing, and parents with their tween picking up random things by the water. It was strange- the girl reminded me of myself. Stuck hanging out with her parents, she picked up a snail shell excitedly, telling them about it. Then she said "do you think there are snakes in the water?"  Ugh.....

Actually getting in the water was the first thing to overcome. Walking out on the bottom, which I couldn't see, was difficult. I wanted my legs up quickly. So when it was deep enough I did that. 

I treaded water and tried to get used to my surroundings. I slowly and calmly swam side-stroke. Then, I tried to swim. As soon as my head went under and all I saw was green, I flipped out. I scrambled back to the shore and stood up again. I don't even think I was in deep water? But I wanted to be where I had walked before and knew I wouldn't step on something weird. 

I walked back up to shore. It was terrible feeling. There was no way I could swim in that. I tried to articulate my feelings about it to Greg, what was making me nervous, etc. He didn't have much to say about it, didn't know what would help. 

I stood there a long time, occasionally recounting some horror I had just experienced. And all I could think was there was no way I could go back out there.

But, I knew I had to. 

Otherwise, I would really be dangerous trying to swim a half mile in September. 

I cried a little. I was so frustrated. Why couldn't I do this? With the decision that I wasn't leaving until I made this work, I began to think about it again. What was making me nervous? What was so scary and bothersome?

I didn't like that no one else was out there. To me, if I saw someone else in the water, I knew I could be in the water. So we moved down to where some high school girls were swimming. 

I didn't like not being able to see anything  underwater. So I thought I'd get back in, near the frolicking high school girls, and just practice being in the water. Just being. 

So I walked in again. This time I stood for a bit in waste deep water. I tried to not panic about where my feet were or what was around me that I couldn't see. Then I bent over some and got on my belly in the water and put my face under. Argh!! No!!! I immediately popped up freaked out and out of breath. I hated the green. I tried again, putting my hands in front of my face so I could get a sense of depth of what I was or wasn't seeing. Green murk- I could only make out blurred preachiness of my hands. Ok...so I really just can't see. Ok. 

I floated on my back some. I tried the breast stroke, but didn't like that. The I stood some more. I was just trying to relax. Then I decided I could try to swim 5 strokes across the area. 5 strokes and that's it. Where I could stand up if needed. It was weird how much it freaked me out to not know how deep the water was. I don't know why this bothered me. I wasn't afraid of drowning. It was just scary for some reason. 

I swam 5 strokes and kept my head elevated a lot. But I did it. The I turned around and did it again. After this I took a break on shore. 

I complained and whined about things that bothered me some more to Greg. Pockets of cold water felt like they were their own being. I didn't like seeing the current on top. I didn't like not seeing anything underwater except green. 

I knew I had to actually swim. I decided I could try to swim to one buoy, then across to the other, then back to the middle, like a triangle. So I waded back out and tried it. I immediately breathed on same side each time, keeping my head high. I found this helped relax me and made it so there was less time in the green murk. I practiced sighting, looking for the buoy. I got as close as I could stand. For some reason, here is another issue I have with things in the water. I'm scared of them. I don't know what it looks like underneath and it bothers me for some reason. Strange, I know. 

So I got as close as I was comfortable with, then turned and kicked to go across to the other buoy. As I sighted I was surprised by how much the current pushed me into shore. I took some breaks on my back when I got flustered. I eventually made it and the headed back to the middle. 

Going across felt like I was going nowhere, but Greg said I looked fast. We determined I must have been moving the same speed as the surface water, so it looked like I wasn't moving to me. 

It was rough and panicky, but I did it. Then I did it a few more times to further get comfortable. Each time toon about 4:30 minutes and made me pretty tired. I felt like I was fighting the water. And I swear there was some sort of undercurrent. The cold water I'd feel near the buoy freaked me out and with the disorientation of swimming across the swim area, it was so strange. 

The last thing I did was just try to swim buoy to buoy and back again. I practiced sighting more and I was curious if swimming "against" the current would feel different. I really think there were two currents- one on the surface and one just below. I'm going to look this up later. The last time I turned at the buoy, there was a huge pocket of cold water and it felt like something was pulling me back. I hated it. And I wanted to leave on a good note, so I just got out of that area as quickly as I could and swam a bit more. 

Soooooo by the time I left, I had conquered my fears and actually swam in the open water!! It wasn't something I'd choose over a pool. And I am still certainly perplexed by a few things. But I'm so glad I did it. I made myself do something REALLY uncomfortable; I managed to figure out how to deal with it bit by bit so that I could do it. I am pretty happy with myself for doing this. :) 

Bring on Lake Habeeb. 

Rough 40 miles

Just another group ride... We've been doing them for awhile now. Maybe this was our 4th or 5th? But this was kind of a rough on. 

For starters, I thought I'd do my inhaler to get more air. Maybe I wouldn't have to suck wind so bad going up hills if I could get more oxygen. However, the inhaler seemed to make me worse. I coughed a lot and nothing was improved with my breathing. At breakfast, I sounded like I was hoarse from being at a concert the night before. 

Second, as we began, I could feel the tiredness in my legs. Two weeks now swimming a lot (went even farther Wednesday, without breaks) and some faster running intervals (two sets of 3 mile repeats at 9:00s-ish) left my legs lacking. 

And then, the group just went faster today! We were doing 20-22mph on flats, often. I already get dropped on hills. I couldn't keep up. As the group got farther and farther away after some early hills, I suggested to Casey we could maybe catch up if I drafted him. And that we did. It took a bit, but we made it back up to the group and I had no problem tucking in behind Casey. It gave me a chance to catch my breath and get that back under control.

So, that became the strategy for the day. It was an off day, but I still managed 17 mph overall. Considering the hard week, and my stupid breathing, I suppose I should be and am pretty pleased with the workout. It was mentally crushing during the ride. I hate being last. I thought with biking I wouldn't always be last, like I am with running. 

However, I'd say my body preformed pretty damn well today, and I'm really grateful for that. 

Update

Wow, so it's been quite a while since I've updated. Work has been consuming. Training has been consuming. Honestly, I've been struggling with the work/no business partner/whatthehellamIdoing adjustments pretty hard recently, and exercising has been my happy place.

Last night I realized that my body is changing. Specifically I'm getting overall stronger and able to handle more. I keep pushing and it keeps responding positively. That is so amazing to me. I feel like I have a new relationship with my body. On the flip side of this, I feel like I'm a freak and have confusion as to how I should be feeling. Maybe I should be proud of myself? Maybe I should just be happy and not worry about anything? But the reality is, this just doesn't seem like something Steph does. This crap goes back to my mom f-ing up of my perception of things based on her inability to handle things. I wasn't allowed to do things because that's not what Steph does. I was different, though it was never clearly defined what made me different. It was as if I had some scary disease where if I fell down I'd bleed to death. It took me years to figure out it wasn't me, it was my mom. But that shit really sticks around. Hence my ponderings lately. What I'm doing now seems so dangerous, out of line, unnecessary, and just down right wrong on one side of my mind. Then the other says no, this is great! You're being healthy and strong and enjoying pushing yourself and everything from it has been positive. Most of all I'm ashamed I feel any of this. It's very embarrassing.

I want to tell everyone about what I'm doing. Not because I want to brag or make them feel bad about their couch potato lives, but because I want to feel like it's normal. It makes me happy and I feel like it's something happy to talk about. I want/need reassurance that what I'm doing... this crazy learning how to swim from YouTube videos, biking more than I've ever biked in my life, and getting to be a stronger runner...I want to feel like all of that is simply positive.

Instead, right now I feel like I'm a weird obsessed fitness person. I feel if I mention things to my friends, I sound like I'm bragging. Or, I'm just talking about something that simply isn't interesting. If I mention things to my parents, criticism begins: have you checked with your doctor, what about your asthma, you're not a swimmer why are you swimming - why don't you just stick to running... it goes on and on. Even though I know (think?) that these kind of comments aren't exactly right, I can't shake them. I need help shaking them. I need someone to immediately tell me "Steph, don't listen to that - those statements are unfounded."

I am doing this all for me, so me is the only thing I need to impress. I've thought recently I should just shut up about all of it. No one needs to be bothered by it. If they're curious, they'll ask. But for some reason I still want to share it really really bad. It's just such a huge part of my well-being right now and I guess I am proud of my accomplishments, so I suppose that's a normal thing to want to share?

I guess, in a nutshell, I'm just having a hard time believing in myself right now.